The Next Steps in Adulthood

On December 19th, 2016 our entire family was at my brother Ashby’s choir concert. After the concert was over, we went out to the hallway to take pictures with everyone that came to support my brother. My parents actually talked to one another a little bit. That was the very first time since their divorce I had seen them actually communicate civilly. I don’t know anything else in this world that makes a daughters heart happier! I decided to take a selfie of us three, to capture that happy moment I got to experience.

“Why would that make you happy, Lauryn?” Because it is my dream to have my parents able to be in the same room as one another, with both of their spouses, and me and my brothers. That’s been my ultimate dream since the divorce. Now that they’re both happy in present day (2022), I can only hope that would happen someday. This picture below gives me hope.

My next step in life was to find a place to do hair, since I had just barely got my cosmetology and barber licenses! The first place that came to mind was my Aunt Neener’s salon. She and her husband had bought a two story building back before I was born to run both of their businesses in. My uncle Lynn was running his insurance business upstairs and my Aunt Neener ran her hair salon in the basement. At this time she had three employees, LaVere and Deonne who were hairstylists, and Andrea who was a nail technician. I grew up seeing these three people all the time, and remember always admiring their work.

Deonne had left the salon recently when I was starting to look for a job. I asked my Aunt Neener if I could possibly set up shop, and start doing my existing clients at Deonne’s old station. She said “of course!” and I was given the green light!

Christmas of 2016, my parents gifted me with all the hair supplies I needed to jump start my career. I was so thankful for them, and their support. I was set and ready to start making my dream a reality!

After a few weeks working at my aunts salon, I quickly realized that I was not going to be able to build my clientele at all. There were no walk-ins and no way to advertise my services. My aunt had built her clientele over the past 20 years, which consisted of elderly and middle aged women. She was set with a steady income, I looked up to her and work ethic.

Quick side note: don’t my mom and I look like twins in this picture?? We took this selfie one day after I did her hair at Aunt Neeners salon. At this point in my life, I’d see my mom a handful of times. After her divorce with Roice, our relationship started to improve.

I remember one day I was doing blue hair on one of my clients. I tried to be so careful with the bright color and made sure I didn’t get it anywhere that would stain. After I was done with my client, I cleaned up and went home. The next day my aunt texted me a picture of my chair at the station I was working at. There was blue hair color all over the back of the chair. She was not happy with me at all, I quickly went into the salon and tried to scrub the color out of the chair. It was already stained on the leather chair. I felt so bad, and knew that she wouldn’t want me working there anymore. I apologized over and over again, but realized I should just go to a different salon to work so that I could build my clientele with walk-ins. I thanked my aunt for letting me work at her salon, and then I was on my way.

One of the many things I enjoyed doing in my free time was babysitting my Proctor cousins. They have always meant the absolute world to me since they moved back to Utah from North Carolina in 2009. My moms sister Jeana and her husband Spencer had moved to the east coast a few months after they got married. Before they moved my aunt gave birth to her first child Jamison. My Uncle Spencer was going to school to be a doctor. They lived in Ohio, North Carolina, and then moved back home to Utah after school was over. When they moved back, I was so happy! Jeana and Spencer had always been my favorite, ever since I was a little girl.

All of the Proctor kids besides Jamison were born in either Ohio or North Carolina. Their youngest daughter Leah was born in 2011 after they had moved back to Utah. I was able to go to the hospital when she was born. When I first saw her, I knew we were going to be best friends! I spent a lot of time over at the Proctor household, whether it was to just hangout or babysit. Some of my fondest memories are spending time with my cousins. Leah quickly became my best friend, we got along so well. I looked at her as my baby sister, since I never got one.

Jamison, Braelyn, Colsen, McKay, and Leah are like younger siblings to me. I absolutely adore them with every ounce of my being. I saw each one of them grow up into the people they are today. I couldn’t be more thankful for the Proctor family and all the love they’ve shown me over the years. I love you guys!!

February 18th, 2017 I went over to my grandpa Jensen’s house to watch NBA All Star weekend with him. We have such a special bond, plus it was his birthday! I have been watching Utah Jazz games with him since I was 2 weeks old. It’s always a special moment when him and I talk about basketball, or watch a game together. I’ll always cherish those moments with my old man.

On March 30th, 2017 I purchased my first car. Yes, I had three cars before this one.. but this car I bought all on my own with no financial help. This was a major step in the right direction for me. My dad came with me to the car dealership, we test drove a few different cars but none of them stole my heart. I saw a white Volkswagen Jetta across the parking lot, I knew I had to drive it. Once I sat in the drivers seat.. I knew, she was the one. This was my first major adult purchase, which made me feel accomplished and confident!

Whenever my dad, Mat, Ashby, and I had the opportunity to go see an off Broadway show in downtown Salt Lake City, we took it! We saw one of my favorite shows in April of 2017. The Lion King.. talk about the most beautiful costumes, actors, actresses, and music! I will never ever get tired of musicals. There’s something so magical about the atmosphere, and raw talent.

My dads treat business was still going strong, it was growing like crazy! So, he decided to make some more professional content to post on YouTube and the official Instagram page. Our friend Adam is a photographer/videographer. My dad asked him if he could make a few short videos of him talking about the company, show off the yummy treats, and film a few other small clips. We went up to my dads friend Ken’s house, to shoot some footage in his stunning kitchen! That was a lot of fun, being behind the scenes, helping set everything up, and watching my dad in action. He has always been a natural in front of the camera. I’ll link one of the videos below!

I went to church with my mom, brothers and Lexi on holidays. I didn’t like going otherwise, but hid my unwillingness to go pretty well. My mom was attending the Proctors and my grandparents ward for awhile, so I would go to church mainly to see my family. This is when I started to not pay attention to what the church leaders were saying simply because of what their view was on the LGBTQ community, like I mentioned in a previous chapter. I put my head down, and powered through the three hour block. (yes, my mom loved to be twinning with me on holidays at church, it’s just what we did.. haha.)

One evening my dad surprised my brothers, Lexi, and I with concert tickets! They were super last minute tickets that he scored, so we all rallied together and headed to The Maverick Center. The Chainsmokers were performing, this is when they started to get big. I had listened to some of their more popular songs, but wasn’t a die hard fan. Their music is more of an EDM vibe, which I’ve never really been into. We saw our cousin Kelsie, a few rows behind and to the side of us before the show started. I wasn’t surprised that she was there, Kelsie went to every concert possible and was always in the Salt Lake area if there was a music artist she wanted to see. We all had a blast, danced our butts off, and had a really good night together.

My mom was a nurse in the mom and baby unit at the Riverton hospital for a year or so after she completed nursing school. She decided that she wanted to go in a different direction career wise. So, she put herself through mortuary school. Talk about complete opposites! She graduated school in May of 2017, I couldn’t have been more proud of her. She has always put her all into schooling, whether it was helping my brothers and I with homework, or going to school herself. I’ll always look up to my mom for her hunger to learn. She’s always been good at math, and has had a strong stomach when it comes to gross things like vaginas and dead people.

Back in 2015 I met a boy online. Like I said in a previous chapter, I started live streaming on a platform called YouNow to distract my mind from my parents divorce. One night I met Brevon in one of my streams, he seemed so kind and was flirting with me a lot. We decided to talk via FaceTime and text constantly. We had been talking for two years, then I decided I wanted to go visit him! He lived in Bloomington, Indiana which I had never been to before. I was so excited because I had the biggest crush on him, plus I loved to travel to different places.

My mom, dad, and Mat were skeptical about the entire situation but I was at that point in my life that I’d do anything to meet a boy whom I was interested in. The day finally came in May of 2017. My travel day was long, but I finally made it to Indiana! Brevon and his mom met me at the airport with flowers in hand. We hugged, smiled, and we were both so happy to finally be meeting each other. We drove to his house which was about an hour away from the airport. Once to got to the house, I met his younger sister Danaye. From the first time I met her, I absolutely loved her. Brevon’s entire family accepted me with open arms. I felt so much love, as if I was already apart of the family.

Brevon and I explored his town, went to the Indianapolis zoo, went shopping, ate some really good food, and spent time with his family. Brevon played softball at the time, and had a few games lined up while I was visiting! I sat with his mom on the sidelines, cheered him on, and had the absolute best time. After the games were over his family would tailgate outside of the park. I met his aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. They all seemed to really like me, and my feelings towards them were mutual.

One day his mom suggested we should go horseback riding. I had never been on a full sized horse before, which scared me.. but I decided that it could be fun. We drove to the ranch, hopped on the horses, and took a ride along some beautiful trails. His sister Danaye tagged along, which I was so happy she did. After we were done with the ride, my crotch really hurt. I didn’t realize that sitting on a saddle for hours would make my crotch ache and burn… haha sorry TMI. Overall I had a really good time, making new memories, doing something I wouldn’t normally do.

Brevon’s softball team was registered for a tournament called ‘The Bedford all nighter’. Basically, it’s a softball tournament with all of the surrounding teams in the state, it started in the evening and teams would play throughout the entire night into the next morning. We didn’t have a tent or anything to sleep in, so we slept in the back of the car until it was his teams turn to play. While he played I sat in a lawn chair on the sidelines with his cousins and friends girlfriends. I clicked with them instantly, and we had the best time cheering them on!

Originally I was planning to stay in Indiana for a week, but as the end of my trip got closer I decided I wanted to stay a few extra days. I called my dad to let him know that’s what I wanted to do. He was not stoked about that idea, and got a little upset with me. But somehow I talked him into it. I really enjoyed my time with Brevon and his family. I want to thank them for always keeping their door open, even to this day in 2022. I know I can go to them for anything, they’re like my second family. It’s crazy what the internet can do, creating lifelong relationships!

After I returned home Brevon and I decided that there would be nothing serious between us. Long distance just doesn’t workout all the time. We are still friends to this day, and I talk to his family here and there. Forever thankful for that special bond I have with them.

My dad had a friend who was a well known hairstylist in Utah named Jared, he posted on Facebook that he was looking for an assistant! I sent a message to him, explaining that I was looking for some extra experience before I started to do new clients. A few days later he called me and asked me to come in for a small interview. The interview went amazing, and he told me I’d start the next day! I was so excited considering he had young and hip clients that were with the current hair trends. I knew I would learn so much from him.

Jared asked me to go in a half hour before his first client of everyday to clean, organize, and get the space ready for his day. If you know me you know I love to organize and keep things clean, so this was fun! When he would come in for clients I would sit back and watch his every move. It was common for him to double book, which means he would have two clients at one time. I would hand him foils, mix color, rinse his clients hair out when it was time, and run next door to the beauty supply store to grab any products he may need. Coffee runs were also very common, which was just a few doors down.

A few months into assisting him, he allowed me to bring in some clients to be models. He would assist and direct me with their entire service. I brought in my friend who had long beautiful hair, and then my mom. Both of their hair turned out flawlessly. I learned new techniques, used different color than I had before, and listened closely to what Jared was telling me to do. He taught me so much, I was very thankful for that opportunity.

One day Jared asked me if I wanted him to color my hair. I told him I had always wanted to see myself completely blonde, but had layers of fashion colors and brown on my hair. He assured me he could get me very light blonde in one sitting. From what I had learned in hair school is that you absolutely cannot lift someone’s hair to level 10 blonde in one sitting if their hair is dark brown or black without completely damaging the hair. But I trusted him, and here we went! It took about 4 hours to get me completely blonde, I doubted him but he did it! I took one look at myself with blonde hair, and said “absolutely NOT!” Blonde was not my color, at least all over from roots to ends. My hair was completely fried, and damaged once he was done. Lowkey looked like Hillary Clinton.. hahaha! You have to try everything once I guess, but never again.

This assisting job only lasted about 3 months. Jared told me he was moving on to another space, and no longer needed an assistant. I thanked him for all he had done for me, and for the extra education. It was time for me to find a new spot to do hair that accepted walk-ins.

I was having a hard time finding another salon to work at. My goal was to find a place that had high end clientele, which ruled out Sports Clips, and Great Clips. I was doing my research on salons, submitting my resume, which tested my patience. In the midst of job hunting, my dads friend Brad just started a nutrition coaching company called ‘Key Nutrition’. He was looking for a receptionist to help his sister who was already the main receptionist. I went in to talk to him, had a small interview, and got the job on the spot! I was so excited, even though this was not my career path, I knew it would bring in some money and be temporary.

I worked almost everyday at the front desk, checked clients in, checked clients out, and did any other extra tasks that needed to be done. I became friends with all of the coaches, and received a free meal/workout plan! Every week I would go into Tom’s office who was my nutrition coach at the time. We would sit down, discuss my eating habits, and workouts. He would write up a meal and workout plan that was personalized for me each week, that I followed religiously. I didn’t have any cheat days for 1 month. After following my plans very closely for a month, I took a selfie of myself in the mirror then compared my body to a picture I took exactly 30 days prior. HOLY COW. I couldn’t believe the difference. I was toned, healthy, and in the best shape I’d ever been in.

I was so proud of myself and tried to continue to eat healthy plus workout when I could. My dad was my biggest motivation for me to get to the gym, we went together quite a bit! I worked at Key Nutrition for about 2 months, they didn’t need my help any longer. Which I was completely fine with, because I needed to focus on my actual career.

After the first month of working at Key Nutrition I met a guy named Devin on a dating app. He was very assertive with getting to know me, and going on dates. After a few dates, we decided to go on a triple date with my brothers and their girlfriends. We went to an arcade, which was super fun! I was 20 at this time, and finally ready to actually date seriously again after my abusive ex-boyfriend. I saw a lot of potential in Devin and I, which made me very excited! Devin met my entire family very early on, and they all liked him. Cherry on top, he treated me so well. I didn’t see one red flag when we started dating, which made me feel so comfortable and confident in what we had going.

In July of 2017, my youngest brother Ashby earned his Eagle Scout award. This was a big day for him, and our family. He was so excited to finally have all the hard work of scouting pay off. We went out to a campground in Bluffdale, Utah and had a small gathering with family and friends for Ashby. It was really cool to hear all the things he had accomplished! This was the day I had my first cheat meal in a long time, a warm hot dog loaded up with all the best toppings, and a smore!

In April of 2017 Mathew proposed to my dad in New York City. They told my brothers and I once they got home from their trip. The pure excitement I felt that my dad was engaged to the love of his life, was unmatched! I cried when Mathew told me he proposed to my dad in Times Square, their all time favorite place to visit. My dad showed me his ring, my best friend was engaged to his life long partner in crime. What an incredible feeling! At this point Mat and my dad had been dating for two and half years. It already felt normal to have Mathew around. He and I had our rough patches, with me trying to get used to the whole idea of seeing my dad with a man. But we got passed it like most people do who have issues, I looked at him as my second dad. I was looking forward to their future together and over the moon excited to have Mat be apart of our family officially.

All in all, this part of my life was troublesome at points. The hair industry is not kind, very challenging, and tough when you begin to do hair out in the real world. Somehow, someway I knew I would find a solid place to land, and build the best clientele I could. But for now, it was a guessing game.. where would I go next? Who would I meet next? Where would be the best place in Utah to continue to do hair for the rest of my life?

I filled this chapter with a few short memories, that I will continue to do as they come to me. As you can tell, my family has always supported my brothers and I. No matter what we do, where we go, who we are with, my family’s love was always there. I will forever be thankful for that.

As far as my boyfriend in 2017, Devin.. you’ll just have to wait until the next chapter to hear everything that transpired in our relationship.