Goodbye, Hello!

The days were getting shorter as the Arizona move got closer. I knew I needed to say goodbye to my friends in Utah, and couldn’t think of a better way to do that than throwing a party. One of my newest friends offered their small house to host. Everything was set and ready to go, invites sent out, location secured, and supplies bought. I was not ready to say goodbye to my friends.

The day before the party was happening was my last day at Lifetime Fitness. This was kind of bitter sweet. I loved the people I worked with, but didn’t have the best experience with actually doing hair. I realized in my year of working there that the people who I had the chance of doing their hair weren’t my cup of tea, as far as personality and lifestyle. If you’ve been a member at Lifetime, or heard about the people who go there you know what I mean. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, a handful of the people there were snooty, thought they were better than everyone, loved to gossip, and just had way too much money. I’m not referring to everyone who went to Lifetime, there were a good amount of people I knew, and got to know that were normal joe shmows. I think I did maybe one client on my last day, then said goodbye to my co-workers, and other employees of the gym. I packed my stuff up, and walked out the door with my head held high, a few tears in my eyes, knowing I was doing the right thing not only for myself but my career. This was kind of surreal being the last job I’d probably ever have in Utah. But, onto the next big thing!

I had been job hunting for hairstylist jobs in Arizona for about a month prior. I applied online to many hair salons, hoping I could just get something temporary. A few corporation salons reached out to me a day or so after I submitted my resume, but none of them stuck out to me. About 3 weeks into applying, I had a salon in North Scottsdale reach out to me. The owners called me, loved my resume, and asked if I could move down to Arizona ASAP. I told them I couldn’t obviously because I was moving with my dad, his husband, and my youngest brother. But I told them that I could come into the salon as soon as I got down there to meet them. They told me I had the job already, and they couldn’t wait to meet me! I was over the moon excited, and very confident that this move would be the best thing for my career. I was no longer going to be stuck, I saw a path forward.

The night of the goodbye party was here. My friends who I was close with at the time all showed up to the house. We danced, drank, played games, and just enjoyed each others company. I don’t really have any pictures from this night, because I was living in the moment. I was very sad, but I knew I would come back to visit and see them all again.

The day before we moved, my dad and Mat took us kids up to the Heber City mountains for one last Utah hurrah. My dads friend had a cabin up there that we were going to stay in for one night. Once we got up there, we were all in shock. This place was massive, super modern with a woodsy twist, and the best part was the most incredible view. We were literally in the middle of the woods, surrounded by nothing but trees. I remember walking on the wrap around patio, birds chirping, deer running through the trees, cool breeze blowing through my hair, taking it all in. This beautiful state was my home, this is where I was raised by the most loving parents. This is where I went through some of the hardest times in my life, where I grew in so many aspects, where I became the woman who I am today. It was surreal that I was going to leave this all behind the next day. I was terrified, but ready.

We got everything settled in, then took a drive to a small lake nearby. My brothers love to fish, and will never miss an opportunity to do so. Of course we had to use this as a photo op with the beautiful scenery that surrounded us.

Once we got back to the cabin, we broke out the hammocks and laid out on the patio. This gave me more time to just think. One thing about me, I don’t stop thinking especially when my anxiety is heightened. When my anxiety is high, I think about the near and far future. What’s going to happen? What’s the best and worst case scenarios? Will I ever see what I’m seeing right now again? But once I calm down, I realize life happens the way it’s supposed to happen. Mostly everything is out of my control. Everything will be alright. So many memories, and lessons learned flooded my brain. The breeze rocking me back and forth, looking up at the blue sky, taking it all in. We all took a nap, then changed into our swimsuits and got into the hot tub. We talked about memories that we had in Utah, and just enjoyed each others company.

Mat cooked us dinner with the help of anyone who wanted to. We ate, then watched some TV, and went to bed. The next morning we packed up, and headed back home. I think we all needed that quick trip to really connect with one another one last time before our worlds changed for good.

The next day was moving day. This was the day I had been waiting for but also dreading at the same time. August 19th, 2018 we packed up all of our belongings into a moving truck and three cars. My dad and Mat hired a moving service to help take all of our furniture, and boxes to our new house 650 miles away. Parker and Lexi were kind enough to help us move. Before we left, Ashby and I went to our moms work at the Riverton Hospital to say goodbye to her. That was really hard for me. This was the last mom hug I would get for awhile. Even though we weren’t on the best terms, she was still my mom and I was going to miss her more than words could ever describe. I didn’t want to leave my mom behind, but I knew I would see her again.

Not even one hour after saying goodbye to my mom, our house was empty. We took some pictures inside, then did one last sweep before the doors were locked.

My Aunt Jeana, Uncle Spencer, and cousins came over to say goodbye. This was very hard for me. I watched all of these kids grow up, I was apart of their lives for over 10 years. My aunt and uncle were like second parents to me my entire life, they were there when I felt like no one else was. My Aunt Jeana is someone I have always looked up to, even now present day. She is super woman and has handled life with such grace. She had been there for me and my family in some of the hardest times, for that I am forever grateful. I was going to really miss the Proctor clan, but made a pact to them that whenever I came back to visit they would be first on the list to see. And I can confidently say, that I have stuck to that pact for the past 5 years. We said our goodbyes, had our hugs, then they left.

Not even 30 minutes after the Proctors left, we were ready to hit the road. Ashby and I were driving my white Volkswagen Jetta. I remember getting into the drivers seat, looking at my back seat, and just thinking “Wow this is actually happening. All of my personal belongings are in this car packed to the rim. I am leaving the state that built me. I am leaving it all behind, the hurt, the pain, my friends, ex boyfriends, and a big chunk of my family. But I am taking with me, part of my family, the lessons I’ve learned, the growth, and most importantly myself.” Some tears were shed quietly. My entire life I felt like I needed to be strong for my brothers. Because I didn’t ever want them to be scared, I wanted them to be happy all the time. I knew that wasn’t realistic, but I guess I just cared a lot and did what I could do.

Parker and Lexi drove my dads black Volkswagen Jetta, my dad and Mat drove Mat’s grey BMW. We all followed one another down the roads that were so familiar, to the freeway. This was goodbye.

The drive to Phoenix was going to take 10 hours total, but we didn’t want to do it all in one day. The movers were planning to be at our new house the next day, so we decided to spend the night in Cedar City which was only a 3 hour drive. My Aunt Paula and Uncle Rex have always been so kind with offering their home to us every time we visit. Once we arrived, we took our luggage inside, had some dinner, and hung out in their backyard with my cousin Jessika, her kids, and my aunt and uncle. It was a really nice evening, perfect weather, with great company.

The next morning we said our goodbyes to our family in Cedar, and got on the road. We decided to take the ‘scenic route’ not the Vegas route. Boy oh boy was that a good decision. There were so many beautiful sights to be seen. We stopped for gas in Hurricane, Utah and switched drivers. My dad hoped into my car and started to drive. This was my favorite part of the entire trip. We listened to broadway and 80’s music for hours. There’s just something about being in a car and jamming out to music with my dad that makes my heart sing.

Mid afternoon we made it to Jacob Lake, which is around 4 hours away from Phoenix. Grandpa Cedar told us to stop here for their cookies and ice cream. It did not disappoint, and was exactly what we needed to keep going. This drive was very long, but it was fun for me to see all of us working together to make this huge change exciting for everyone.

At about 3:00pm we made it to Phoenix! Once we entered the North part of the valley, I looked around me. Where was I? The scenery was SO different than Utah. There were cacti, lots of dirt, clear skies, and sunshine. It didn’t take long until we were entering our new neighborhood. We turned the last corner, and there it was our new house. I remember looking at my dad, with tears in his eyes. I knew this was really hard on him as well, but behind those tears was excitement. We looked at each other, and I said “welcome home dad”. Both in disbelief that this was actually real life. The thing about my dad and I is we are very emotional human beings, maybe it’s because of what we have been through the past couple years or maybe it’s just because that’s how we were born. But we both left behind a life full of friends, acquaintances, familiarity, hurt, rejection, challenges, love, happiness, and sadness. Now here was a life where we didn’t know a single soul except the people we came here with. This was a new start for my dad, Mat, Ashby, and myself. It almost felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders at this point in time. I was free, I now had all the freedom in the world to create a brand new life for myself while still staying true to me.

The funny thing about our new house is that my dad and Mat had been looking online for a house for who knows how long. They found a real estate agent who would go to houses and FaceTime them just to look at it. Most of the time Mat would fly to Phoenix for work, and while he was down there he would look at houses. My dad never went with him. They looked at so many houses and put in offers but then wouldn’t get the house. Their offer finally got accepted for our new house, it was meant to be. So, with this house my dad, Ashby, and myself had never seen it in person until we pulled up to it to move in. I was really hoping we were going to like it.

All of us got out of our cars, and couldn’t wait to explore the house. When I stepped foot out of the cool, air conditioned car into the hot 118 degree Arizona climate I almost instantly regretted the decision to move. I literally thought I had just entered Hell with how hot it was. When I tell you I had never ever felt this kind of dry heat before, I mean it. We do not have this kind of weather back in Utah.

We all ran into the house as fast at we could, hoping to get some cool air. Once we got inside, I instantly fell in love with it. It was a one level house, which I hadn’t seen before. There was no upstairs and no basement. I grew up with both, so that was new. Most houses in Arizona are one level because cooling a house with multiple levels costs an arm and a leg when it’s hot as balls outside. The one thing I was most excited about was our backyard because it had a pool!! I never had a pool so accessible to me my entire life, so this was really exciting. We moved what we had in our cars into the house, took a. quick tour of the house, then went out to the pool just to put our feet in. First we had to clean it out with this long net looking thing. After it was cleaned out, Ashby got his swim suit on, and did a cannonball into the pool. He splashed all of us, and with the splash came a scorpion! I had never seen a scorpion in my life either. It was a baby, but we smashed it after a small freak out, then moved on.

That evening we got word that the moving truck wouldn’t be here until the next day. They got delayed on the road. That left us with no furniture at all, just the things we could fit in our cars. My dad and Mat found a close by hotel 2 minutes away from the house that we were going to stay in for the night. We packed a overnight bag, and headed to the hotel. Before we went to bed we were HUNGRY so we decided to go eat at Red Robin, then hit a few stores that we had never heard of. One of them being Cos Plus World Market. This store had everything, from all over the world. It was entertaining that’s for sure.

After we were done at the store, we went back to the hotel and got a good nights sleep. In the morning we packed up and went back to the house. The moving truck finally made it!! Now it was time to move everything inside.. yes… it was still 1,000 degrees outside. Note to ANYONE: do not move to a well known hot place in August. 10/10 do not recommend.

As you can see life changed in an instant. I never thought I’d ever leave Utah. I was so comfortable in the “bubble”. I want to give major props to my dad and Mat for even considering moving. I don’t know where I’d be or who I’d be if I didn’t take that leap and say “Yes!”. I think this is a big lesson to learn for everyone as you’re going through life. Change is good. Change is also scary. It takes courage to step outside of your comfort zone, it takes courage to say “yes”. But if it feels right in your gut, DO IT. If your gut is on the fence, DO IT. You have absolutely no idea what good can come out of an unknown situation.

Here I was 21 years old, almost 22 in a few weeks. No friends, no acquaintances, no idea where this state was going to take me. I knew with my family by my side, supporting me in every way possible that I was going to be just fine. Change and starting new was now apart of me, and with that comes securing a job to further my career. Let’s get settled in, then go get that dream job!

Hello, Arizona!